Common Signs of Financial Infidelity

The wife scrambling to beat her husband home before he sees the Amazon packages on the porch or the husband claiming the tickets to that big game were a gift from a client when he actually paid top dollar for them are a couple of examples of financial infidelity. Sometimes, the amounts being spent are of little consequence, and other times, they are devastating. Either way, they demonstrate a breach of trust in the relationship and a lack of respect. 

If you suspect that your spouse is misleading you about financial matters, it can shake the foundation of your relationship. Often, financial infidelity is considered overspending. But, in some cases, they could just be deceitful about money. 

Sometimes, this could be your partner making risky investments without discussing it with you or just holding back money because they don’t want to contribute as much of their earnings to the family budget. All of it can be hurtful and destructive to a healthy marriage. 

What to Look for if You Suspect Financial Infidelity

There is a great likelihood that you are already suspicious if you are reading this article. Maybe you opened your husband’s trunk and found a new set of golf clubs. Perhaps, you were reconciling your bank statement and noticed charges your wife was making that did not align with your agreed-upon monthly budget. 

Here are some other signs to look for if you are in this position:

• Lying about income: This could be withholding information about raises or bonuses at work. It could mean they came into money by selling items or an inheritance. 

• Hiding bills: By hiding bills online or from the physical mailbox, your partner might be lying about your financial situation.

• Secret accounts and credit cards:  If you stumble upon either of these, it is a red flag that your spouse is keeping financial secrets. 

• Lack of transparency: This may come by way of vague responses when discussing finances or an unwillingness to share information about assets, spending habits, or significant financial changes.

• Defensive behavior: When your significant other gets angry or defensive when discussing finances, this could signify that they are hiding something.
• Debt collectors: By the time debt collectors begin calling, the financial deceptiveness has probably been happening for some time. 

Suppose your spouse is concealing extra money that came into their life through their job, an inheritance, or windfall. In that case, it can be as disturbing as finding out that they are overspending on impulse online purchases after a few glasses of wine. It is crucial for your relationship’s health that you discover why the deception is happening. 

Reasons Your Spouse Might Be Lying to You About Money

Often, small impulsive deceits snowball into habits that can become detrimental to relationships. Whether couples choose to keep their money separate or if they have a more shared approach to finances, it is important to be honest and establish boundaries and trust. There are many reasons that your partner may be lying to you about money. Here are a few common reasons:

• Shame:  They may have accumulated debt or spent money that was earmarked for other things and now are ashamed of themselves.

• Fear of consequences: They may fear your reaction and the fallout of their financial mistakes. An out-of-sight, out of mind mentality may apply.

• Planning their exit: They may be skimming money from your budget to finance leaving the relationship.

• Oppression: Your partner may feel they cannot use money as they see fit because they are oppressed in the relationship. 

• Desire for independence: Sometimes, particularly when there is a wealth imbalance in the relationship, a partner might want to feel like they have more agency over their finances.
• Impulsive and compulsive behavior: Some people spend impulsively, while others spend compulsively. Both can be problematic. 

Financial infidelity can have serious consequences, financially and emotionally. Relationships often break down when they fail to communicate, and economic issues are one of the top causes of divorce. If you have questions, contact Sharmin & Sharmin, Attorneys at Law. We are here to help.